BETRAYAL

You ever had a big heart and then one moment someone or something messes it up.

I was that person, that would help someone in need because they wanted to "Start a new" Even though I didn't have that much I still was there for that person.

HERES HOW IT STARTED:

    For someone that I didn't even known that much asked me and my husband for help to come live in Hawaii. My husband was very close with this person and he told me it was up to me to decide. Like a nice person I am I said "yes". She was excited jumping for joy couldn't wait till her and her child come and live with us. She thanked me for making the decision. I was feeling all warm inside cause I was helping someone in need. Me and her we kicked it off good because we both liked the same thing, the same hobby, etc. We both knew what we wanted in life. I started making Youtube videos and she wanted to do right by her child.

   Ending of October they finally moved in and we just moved into our new place in the central area of Oahu. We had Halloween together as a family and we did lots of family activities. I let her use my car to go around and do her errands and go find a job. Even let her and her son go do things they want to do. She told me and my husband what she wanted us to help her with and that's financial and her child. Her child was a picky eater and I tried my best to not let that happen. So I cooked and clean every day and night while being pregnant and watching mines and her kids. I cleaned her room also when she never asked. My house was always clean no matter what. But her room smelt like WET DOG and that was disgusting but I never say anything to her about it because I would think she would be embarrassed of it.

  Around November my husbands co-worker had a little party at his house. When we got there she started drinking and my family came also. That night she got into an altercation with my brothers girlfriend calling her a "SLUT" in samoan. She didn't even know that my brothers girlfriend is Samoan so she knew what she called her. Yes guys she was intoxicated so she didn't know what she was doing or saying. My brothers girlfriend was ready to fight her. How I knew about that situation was that my dad came up to me and told me what happened. With me and my husband being embarrassed we had to leave early and apologize to my brothers girlfriend for her actions. My husband was so UPSET with her that the next day he gave her a BIG lecture. She was all upset and embarrassed that she suggested to fly her child back to the mainland to stay with her father. I told her "no" because to be separated from a mother and her child is very sad and hard for both. On Thanksgiving day, me, my little family, her and her child went over to my family house to spend Thanksgiving with them. Mind you my brothers girlfriend does lives with them. She had the courage to go up to my brothers girlfriend and sincerely apologize to her. Here comes the part that all changed.

  December her family came down to Hawaii to spend Christmas with us. We had a family dinner night out and it was a good night. Everybody drank and talk stories. During the times they've been in Hawaii me and my husband couldn't spend that much time with them due to the fact my husband had work and I was always home with the kids and pregnant. Maybe only one time we went see them and had a pool day at their hotel. The person and her child went stay couple nights at the family's hotel to spend as much time with them as possible before they go back to the mainland. I can honestly say this though I wasn't interacting because this pregnancy was kicking my butt and I had a nasty attitude so I kept it to myself even though I knew it was rude not to interact. Came Christmas time my family invited her family for Christmas but they never showed up and I was honestly upset because it was holiday and usually both families would get to know each other. What changed I guess? was when I took my car privileges away from her because while she was working and making money she spent foolishly on things. Me and my husband was thinking why isn't she saving. We gave her advice many times about saving her money so she can get her own car. But instead she spent on something else. Like for example: "concert tickets in LA" So I made the decision to take that away from her. I guess she was upset about that and hasn't talked to me like we use to. The ending of December her family went back to the mainland no GOODBYES nothing with my little family.

  House was awkward cause me and her would always be in our room. I would still be making dinner for everyone and cleaning even her mess. They're were times when we asked her for watch our babies because we wanted mommy and daddy time specially on our anniversary. And maybe yes that's what got her upset because we had her watching our kids so much times but we did make sure that everyone was fed so we bought like pizza or I would make dinner. One night I got upset with her cause I made rice and made spaghetti in a can and spam for dinner. But she insisted for us to buy pizza again. so I told my husband that we just take our kids with us. Yes I was upset but I did wanted to take our babies out even though my husband had a bad day at work. 

  March came and it was still awkward in the house. You know you have those instincts or vibes that you know someone is talking shit about you specially when they are living in the same house? I had those feelings. I told my husband so he had a talk with her about it. That day we had a "TALK" We both sat down on the couch face to face had a talk about what's been going on I said my peace saying If she was talking crap about me to anyone. She replied "never why would I talk crap about you for." And like a dummy I am I took her words. HERE COMES THE BIG BIG TURN....

  Couple weeks later, I started cleaning and my boys ended up going into her room and on her laptop. O scolded the boys and went on her laptop to close all the window tabs. Once I started closing it all, there was one website (Facebook messenger) that mentioned my name in it. BOOM! to find out she was talking crap with her FATHER. I won't say all the messages but basically they were saying I was "disgusting" "nasty" "jealous" called my husband "pussy whooped" and above all what took the cake was "GO LET HER TAKE THEM SHE DOESN'T TAKE CARE OF THEM ANYWAY" 

    All I could see was RED. I called my husband up told him about the messages and sent him it to just in case he didn't believe me. He called both if them and ripped them a new one. The disrespect. I've never ever disrespected her FATHER, never, OH and another thing about him and her are DISGUSTING! but I ain't about to say it cause that's WAY to BIG to talk about. That day I ended up going my parents house cause I was heartbroken, shattered into pieces cause I'm a nice person. I don't know when it all went left with us. But I also know now of the FATHER what I know to AVOID him. My husband kicked her out of our place and she ended up going to on of her relatives until she goes back to the mainland.

Till this day I have to watch my back around HER and the FATHER (who we cut ties with) will we ever go back to the way it was? Maybe not.

VLOG | My Birthday Month🎂

In this video shows a recap of the whole month of May. I just turned 30 and my husband and keikis (children) made it the best birthday I've ever had. 

2020

The START/DISASTER! The MOVE!

The START

When you reach the new year all everyone ever says "NEW YEAR NEW ME" well for our family we finally made a BIG move to the mainland. So "NEW YEAR NEW BEGINNINGS' Not till the ending of March 2020.

The DISASTER

We did plan this for a while but a lot of obstacles were in our way. For example, my dad trying to have every things to say for convince us to stay or this whole COVID-19 that started to happen in January. Then we've had so many tragic events that happen in Hawaii. Plus to live there is too expensive. All we wanted to do was  to live comfortably. We also tried TWICE living on our own but plans wasn't going smoothly. So now our foolish decisions messed up a lot of things that we could've had while we are making this move to the mainland.

The MOVE

The day came. The emotions going all over my whole body. The sadness. It was really the next step for us. Like it was really happening. In my mind I was thinking twice but I knew in my heart this is going to be the best decision for my little family. Financial wise. We are here in San Diego at the moment but soon we will be taking a road trip all the way to Virginia. I am scared to be honest for what's going to happen when we get there but I trust my husband with everything that he says he's going to do. For me to help him is with our financial situation that we both got to fix. Since we been here I've already initiated on doing that finally fixing our credit. It sucks but it something that'll help not only us but for our kids future also.

As 2018 comes to an end...

December 27th, 2018

    It's been long since I've blogged lately. Hmmm..what's been going on with my life now? you say. 

My ohana has grown so much as you can see

I started a Youtube Channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3Ocp8GxOoQf4fBmkzgUArw?view_as=subscriber

My youngest made ONE YEARS OLD

My oldest baby is still a hard headed boy but SMART as the days goes by

Yes we cut his curly hair (REALLY REGRET doing that)

As for me and my husband...well let's just say we both are still in LOVE and very HAPPY. Many times we've butt heads with each other but what married couples doesn't fight and argue.

We made TWO YEARS as a married couple & THREE YEARS together on December 18th

I honestly can say even though I had a messed up past I knew GOD had plans for me someday and those days are since I've first had my son and met my wonderful husband. As of what I'm doing now? Still the same thing I'm a stay home mom. Taking care of my two babies and also maintaining our own place. Trying to pay the bills first then getting everything that we don't have in our place. After that's all paid, we do FAMILY time. Go out to eat or go to an arcade or just get my boys something like toys. Everything that me and my husband do is all for our babies. 

Being a stay home mom can be boring but raising my kids how I want them to be raised is the best thing I can do. In my free time when the boys are taking their naps I either vlog for my Youtube channel or I just watch youtube videos or play video games. I started back listening to kpop and let me tell you I've missed alot. I am officially a BTS ARMY. The most epic beautiful korean group I have ever heard and their songs have so much meanings in all of them. Other than that guys that's all the updates about us.

OH ACTUALLY........

THERE IS ONE MORE THING......

I'M PREGNANT AGAIN

another baby boy😍

Stay home mom

This goes out to any stay home mothers out there.

For me this is the first time in my life I didn't have to go to work and miss so many stuffs that my child is doing or saying. People thinks that being a stay at home mother is not really a job. Well they really don't know how it goes down. Every day I wake up real early in the morning to my child's cries because he wants to sleep with me and his father. So I wake up, change his wet diaper and make his bottle till he falls back to sleep and that takes a while. Then my husband goes to work and I take a nap till my child wakes up again maybe about like 7 in the morning. Wake up, start making his breakfast which is his oatmeal rice cereal and a warm bottle of milk.
Once he's finish eating it's time for put on his baby learning videos and play with his toys. Once he's distracted from playing I go into our room and start cleaning. Then head to the kitchen, wash dishes and wipe the counters. Sometimes I would start cleaning my refrigerator or my oven. Start sweeping and mopping my room and the kitchen. Then after my child's stomach rest from eating his breakfast, I go and make his baby bath and clean him up. Dry him up, put his diaper on, and start putting on his clothes.
If he gets fussy I start putting on songs like Bruno Mars, cause he loves his songs. Make another bottle for him. By the time I finish that. He slowly falls asleep in his play pen. Once he's asleep, I go take out the trash, start picking up his toys, turn off all the unnecessary electricity off, clean up the living room, take the dog out and feed the dog.
By the time everything's done, he gets up from his afternoon nap. Then my husband comes home from work around 3, I make a little snack for him cause I know my husband get's really hungry when he gets home. So he starts playing his games. You know to relax and take a little nap well that's what he says usually his little naps is like 2-3 hours.
My child still plays with his toys. I start cooking dinner around 6. Then wake up my husband for him to eat and make my child his food. Start feeding him first before I eat. Then put my child to sleep so I can eat, cause kids specially mines would want all your guys attention in the world. My child cannot let me use the bathroom for a second cause he'll start crying. So my child sleeps then I start to eat.
 Once I'm done eating, me and my husband watches a movie but then every time I want to watch a movie with him, he ends up falling asleep. Hasn't been an hour in the movie and he starts falling asleep on me. But what can I expect from him, he's tired from work and works hard for us to have a roof over our heads and food on our table. So I really do appreciate my husband for all his hard work every day. 

At times I really do want to go back to work for help my husband with bills but my husband doesn't want me to and well also it's too late for me cause I am 26 weeks pregnant with my second child and nobody will hire me around this time.

If  people says being a stay home mom is not a job, it totally is. Doing all of this 24/7 not just 40 hours a week like everybody that works a real job it is mostly every day of your life till your child grows up and starts going to school.

Thank you for reading my blog

Patience for love

Did you ever wonder in every relationships, you thought he/she was the one but at the end of those years, months, or days that he/she wasn't what you expected or he/she lied about everything about themselves and what they wanted?

I've been there and done that. I know about bad relationships and bad people. Everything in my life I had bad luck. Don't everyone? I was this close about to give up on love...until in the month of June. I met an amazing person well my cousin set us up. We ended up being best friends and we both had a crappy past. We also can be goofy with each other and not judge each other also. Bonus is that not also he loves me but he loves my son and treats my son like his own. Now we are engaged and having another baby boy in APRIL 2017.

So in my words even though you had a bad life in the past, God ALWAYS has a plan for you in  the future. A very beautiful loving future until it's that time.

Baby Daddy

ISSUES

All of a sudden my son's father CARES about him. Took him this long to actually CARE about my son. Last week, he tried to message me saying, "Come on we need to talk." I ignored all his messages. Then it was just getting too annoying. So I replied back. The whole conversation we had was about my son, but at a certain time he messages me like night time when CJ is asleep. Like an idiot he thinks he'll be wide awake. Why only know HE cares about my son? When he said he'll try to forget about us. Then I knew something was up, he told me if I still was going to file child support. I told him I don't have him on the birth certificate because he never supported our son. He wanted to go and fool around with other girls. So why would I want to put him on when he didn't even come to his birth and constantly I reminded him my son's due date. Anyway he wanted to know if I was because he wanted to "Join the army." BS cause he told me that when I was 4 months pregnant with CJ and now he's thinking about joining. All this free time he had and he wants to do it now. 

Oh! Here's the BIG part the last time he message me he asked if me and CJ were going to be in Oahu. I replied, "Yeah, Maybe." but then I asked him,"WHY?" He asked if he could see my son in JUNE and honestly I told him I don't think so after what he put me through, not one helped me through my struggles and my family dislikes him especially my father. Also I told him I don't trust him. All the lies he told me when we were together. 

More he got upset cause I said NO. He actually has no say so I blocked him off of Facebook and everything else. I don't even want to see him no more and my son don't need him either. 

Being a single mother I can be both mommy and daddy. WE don't need him or his help cause I've been doing it ever since he was born and only know the "father" decides to help when my dad was the one helping me financially and physically. So he can go enjoy his little vacation in Oahu but leave me and my son out of it. TRUST people I am not a bad person because of what I choose. And don't think I should give him a chance cause he had ALOT of chances with my son's life and he made the choice of screwing it up and he knows it. I don't want a DEAD BEAT DADDY in his life and mines. I dislike dealing with him cause its going nowhere with him. So that's my decision. 

CJ know matter what I am only doing this for you, HE was NEVER there. MOMMY was always there giving you all the love you needed and where was HE, in his own little world being a young kid that wants to fool around and only certain time that he'll call you. While you here with me, I have time to always be by your side my son. I LOVE YOU ALWAYS CJ.